Off to the neurosurgeon we go....

I had a fetal MRI done last Friday and we got the results on Wednesday. First let me just say that I never want to have an MRI done again. I thought the tube that they put you in was much larger than it really was. I get very claustrophobic...not good. I did very well though with the exception of an itch that I couldn't get to because of the teeny tiny space and just about freaked out but really, no big deal! And now for the results, not that much of this will make sense to anyone reading. She has ventriculomegaly which means the ventricles of her brain are enlarged. They have increased in size substantially over the last month which leads them to believe she has obstructive hydrocephalus near the aqueduct of Sylvius, a condition called Aqueductal Stenosis. All these fancy words basically mean there is an itty bitty blockage where the ventricles meet. At this time the ventriculomegaly is being classified as moderate to severe which is making our case more urgent to be seen and may possibly mean in-utero shunting. We see the neurosurgeon next friday to go over the MRI and ultrasound films and get his diagnosis. So far the information that we have are opinions from my perinatologist, radiologist and OB. I am actually hoping that these are pretty accurate guesses as this seems to be the best form of hydrocephalus. As far as delivering goes, she will be delivered cecarean and be evaluated immediately with a possible transfer to Phoenix Childrens. If they do in-utero shunting now she would then go into surgery to have a more permanant shunt placed. Other than her brain she is perfect. She is small, in the 8th percentile for size but seems to be completely healthy. Hopefully we will get a more solid idea of what we are looking foreward to next week. Our neurosurgeon was classmates with my OB and is the top pediatric neurosurgeon in Arizona with extra research in hydrocephalus and shunting, and for me something I thought was important is he is LDS. That's it until I have more information to give.

Opening Presents!!!

Christmas was a blast! On Christmas Eve I made dinner for Grandmom and Granddad and my parents. We opened presents and had a really good time. We spent the night at my parents house so we could be there to open presents on Christmas day. This year Cayson left out milk and cookies for Santa and my dad's dog Medusa ate them and drank all the milk when we took Cayson back to his room. But he was so excited in the morning to see it all gone and he just knew that Santa came and was really hungry because he didn't even leave a crumb. Shhh, nobody tell him it was the dog! We went and spent time with Granddaddy at his house and Thad's family for a few hours then it was back to my parents house for the annual christmas lunch/dinner. It was a really great day. He loved all his presents, even the clothes that we got him. When he saw his shirts he said "Ouuu shirts, look mama, more laundry." He really is the best! When he talks to people now he will tell them about all his "wonderful and beautiful" presents. Hope everyone had as good a Christmas as we did.

Cayson with his new cars bike.
Riding his new bike in the kitchen.
Us by the Christmas tree
He really was excited for the mickey mouse club house, can't tell though.
Would be nice if his eyes were opened but still looks cute!

Carly news and pictures

I finally got pictures of Carly that I could post on the computer! Its so fun to brag about my pretty girl. I've been waiting until today to post an update and it looks like I still don't have much information, but here's what I've got for now.
We got the rest of our amniocentesis results back last week and they all came out normal. Hurray! Now that we have any chromosomal (is that a word) disorders ruled out we have been waiting to see if the brain swelling has gone down, stayed the same or increased. Today was the dreaded yet long awaited appointment for a repeat scan and fetal echocardiogram. I can already tell that we have a little Thad on our hands...very stubborn. She wasn't in the best place for the scan and refused to move. No amount of pushing, jiggling, turning on my side or laying on my stomach would get her to move from her cozy little spot which happens to be breach with her head right under my ribs. Regardless of her stubborn ways we got a pretty good look at the heart which seems to be perfect. Her brain unfortunately has continued to swell which leads us to having a fetal MRI done on friday...again more waiting. As of now the brain doesn't look like it is malformed which goes in our favor. There isn't much we can do until we have the MRI results except for wait. We will continue seeing the radiologist monthly to monitor the swelling as well. We are waiting for a referral to a pediatric neurologist who will most likely require her own testing, aid in the delivery and then treat Carly after she is born. It is highly unlikely that this will resolve on its own having continued to swell over the last month but we are hopeful that it is nothing more than a small blockage that can be fixed with surgery. She is still my pretty baby and I can't wait for her to be at home with us. Until then, I know that she is in good hands being watched over by her Nana B. After our appointment today we stopped to visit her and I felt comforted knowing that someone so special was there to watch over Carly until we get her here.
That's it for now. We probably wont know much until next wednesday at my regular visit with the Dr. We are continually thankful for all the prayers in our behalf.

Here are some pictures from the yearly christmas party. It was so much fun this year...as always. Santa brought an elf with him this year, we missed you Marcus the elf. The boys were even more fun to watch this year than last. They were so excited to see Santa. Cayson could hardly wait his turn to get on his lap and when he went up he wanted 3 toys from the bucket, not just one. Grandmom and Granddad came again, we love it when they join our family activities. Maury and Brian brought the boys again and I think they should make it a tradition to come every year (as long as we have our Santa I guess...) This year marked the 24th year that this same Santa has come, which means he's been coming since I was 2! It had to be documented by photo but at that time of night I wasn't looking my best so no picture to share. It was a fun night as always, my mom does such a good job every year! Can't wait till next year when we have Carly with us!

Christmas Preschool Performance

Yesterday we went to the mall with Cayson's preschool class so they could perform Christmas songs at the amphitheatre. It was so much fun and he did awesome with all his songs. He was so cute up there dancing and singing with his class. He sang Jingle Bells, We Wish You A Merry Christmas, Up On The Housetop, Rudolph, and Santa Clause Is Coming To Town. I love watching him grow up!

Our laundry room

Thanks to Mical, after Thad saw her picture of all the laundry piled on her couch he just had to take a picture of our pile and is now standing by me waiting for me to post it. Is this to let everyone know that I stink at doing laundry or this is something I failed at in wife school? Either way, our loft is a perma-laundry room and I don't care! Finally someone's couch looks like mine does. Really, who besides Thad loves to do laundry and fold clothes? He's such a weirdo. And if he really likes it that much, job is his! (hey, there's some folded stuff...do you see it!)

Finally Lake Powell Pictures

I finally got some of the pictures from Lake Powell.  We went to Lake Powell in September with my mom and dad and all of my siblings.  Last Christmas my parents put a trip together for all us of to stay on a house boat for a week.  We had 4 wave runners and our mastercraft speed boat.  We had such a fun week with everyone.  I was limited on what I could do because I was already having a difficult pregnancy but it was still fun.  One night we all did kereoke (and for those that haven't heard Thad sing...awesome!!!)  My brother does an amazing Donald Duck and sang all of Bette Middlers "The Rose" like Donald Duck.  HILLARIOUS!!!  We played a game another night where we spelled out words with our bottoms, glad there were no pictures. Being dive bombed by bats at night while we were sleeping was another treat we got to experience.  It was a very fun trip and we can't wait to do it again!

Thad and I where we docked for a few nights.

The whole group on a hike to see some arches.

Me and my dad

This was the extent of my water tubing, I was given strict instruction not to tube so I just laid out behind the houseboat instead. 

Our baby is finally not an it!!!

We finally found out today that we are having a baby girl. Yea!!! Her name is Carly (no middle name yet) Merrill. We are so excited...with the exception of Cayson. He really wanted a baby brother and isn't quite sure he wants a baby sister yet. He really doesn't want to be a big brother either and an even bigger issue is that he wants to be a baby again too. He even told me that the baby can't have his crib anymore. He is coming around to the idea slightly when I tell him he gets to protect his baby sister and keep her safe from all the boys. (I may have said that he can hit any boys that try to hurt her.....) We took him shopping and he picked out a few little girl outfits for Carly to wear plus a toy for himself. Before long he will change his mind...at least I hope so! This little girl is going to be her daddy's little princess, I can already tell. We will get more pictures on monday and hopefully get some on a disc so I can post little baby pictures!

Halloween Catch-up

I'm really bad at posting new things so here are a few pictures from the past week. Grandmom, Cayson, Connor and Cash

Pumpkin carving party at Grandmom and Granddad's house.

Cayson with "Jack" the pumpkin he carved...with a little help.

Cayson was a pirate for Halloween. He was actually John from Peter Pan dressed up as a pirate. I don't know, that's just what he wanted to be.

Cayson went trick or treating with Theora, Nola, Connor, Cash, and David the ghost. Once again we had a great time trick or treating in Maury and Brian's neighborhood. A lot of people over in their neighborhood go all out decorating the front yards. Someone had a small haunted house this year that was really fun. I even got to hear Thad scream like a girl when something jumped out and grabbed him. It was great!!! Grandmom, Granddad and Nora came too.

What we do at home for a laugh...

I thought this was a funny picture. Cayson pulled his pants up as far as they would go and walked around the house looking like Steve Urkle. The funniest part was getting Daddy to do the same thing (not a pretty picture which is why that one isn't up here). Since Cayson thought this was a laugh he must has thought it would be equally funny to pull his pants down and pull his shirt over his head. Also a funny picture but not one that everyone would appreciate. We get this poor child to do crazy things to make us laugh. I'll have to try and get a picture of him when he tries to bite his ear...unless he's gotten too smart to try that one again. Are we awful to do this to such a sweet kid or is it normal for parents to laugh at their children? Its better entertainment than the tv so it works for us!

Tolmachoff Farms Field Trip

Today was Cayson's first school field trip and we went to Tolmachoff Farms out in Glendale. It was a lot of fun and we are looking foreward to more class field trips!

Cayson sitting on a haybail waiting to do the corn maze...he didn't like the maze at all!

Cayson and Analise just about to go on a train ride.
Instead of a yucky sand box they have a corn box. They come out so much cleaner and don't have all that yucky sand everywhere.
Right before we left he got to pick out a pumpkin from the pumpkin patch.

Finally some good baby news...

I finally have some good news about the baby. We went to our first OB appointment yesterday and he changed my due date to April 18th which changed how far along I am. Yesterday I was 11 weeks 6 days and he changed it to 12 weeks 5 days so I almost got a week for free! We had an ultrasound and saw the baby move and heard the heartbeat and I have to say that seeing and hearing that was the coolest thing. Its a little thumb sucker too...very hard to believe the something so small can already suck its thumb. I'm just about to start the 2nd trimester and even though it seems like time is going slow its really not, I swear they just told me yesterday that I was pregnant. I've gained 10 lbs already, yea. We have our 2nd trimester fetal survey in 5 weeks and will find out it is...seems like so far away. I'm sure that I'll be completely registered and have the whole nursery picked out the day that we find out, I'm only a tiny bit over excited. Cayson thinks its a baby brother one day then the next day he says its a baby sister, I don't think that he knows what that means but its still cute when he pats my tummy at night and says, "good night baby brother" (or sister). That's all the news for now, little peanut is growing and healthy so we couldn't be happier.

My life saver

Thanks to this little thing called "pregnancy acne" I have found my new best friend. The direction say "apply completely to affected area" which I have taken to mean, go ahead and use this as a moisturizer. It helps, it really does, but I refuse to put any pictures of my face on here as proof because it will make you think that this Mary Kay product doesn't work. I guess nothing can cure the effects of these raging hormones but anything that helps with the redness and soreness is sent from heaven!And on a side note................Nutella....bad...causes really bad heartburn. We are no longer friends! Although not as tasty, tums have taken the place of my beloved nutella...they make eating more enjoyable.

First day of school

Cayson is such a big boy! Today was his first day at preschool and he loved it!!! It was so exciting to bring him to school and watch him go out and play with the other kids. He had a great first day and already has a new friend.

Cayson sitting in his chair at school.

Look at what a big boy he is. It is so scary that he started school.

just a quick note...

Thanks to everyone that has kept us and the baby in their prayers. The baby is doing better and our Dr. is hopeful that it will be okay. Its still 3 days behind in growth but as long as it stays there we should be okay. Every week that passes gets us further from the danger zone and helps me feel less stressed. Its hard to keep everyone updated so I'll just post updates on here, its just the easiest way to let everyone know. Hopefully I'll be a ble to get a picture up soon....its such a cute little blob!

I gotta have it....

Okay, seriously...who doesn't love Nutella on Ritz crackers. I cannot eat them fast enough!

And Dairy Queen hot dogs, with ketchup only!!! What an awful craving but oh so good.

Idaho

Cayson hiking with Grandpa
Cayson and Ashley in West Yellowstone

Cayson and I spent a week in Idaho at my parents cabin. Cayson had lots of fun chasing the squirls with the dogs, hiking with grandpa, going on quad rides, swimming in the hot (hot tub), playing with cousins, going on the kayak, feeding the trout and ducks, looking for animals, and most of all...driving me crazy! We had a lot of fun. Here are some pictures from the trip.

Flying home from Utah

On monday while making the trip home from my parents cabin, I had a really cool experience. Cayson and I checked for our flight about 2 hours early and I noticed a few men in their BDU's. I watched a few families infront of the security area saying goodbye to the men that were leaving and thought of the incredible sacrifice that they were making. While making our way to the gate I saw more and more army men walking around, some with their families with them. While we waited at our gate I watched as more and more gathered together, huging their wives, children, parents, siblings, and girlfriends. A few groups stood out to me in particular. I saw a young couple walking around, the soldier holding a tiny new baby in his arms. His wife had tears running down her face and her husband kept looking at the little baby, maybe wondering if he would ever see it grow up. The next family I saw, the children were a little older. They were holding dad's legs and laughing. I watched as two brothers (apparently the older brother had come back from Iraq and would not be returning with his little brother) hug and cry together. The younger one couldn't have been more than 19 or 20. There were a lot of young men there, being called out for the first time, as well as older, seasoned men with families. Watching this, I thought "I wonder if I could ever do something like this?" Could I watch Thad walk away, not knowing if I would see him again? Could I say goodbye to my dad or brothers and wonder if they would come home? It was heart wrenching to watch these brave soldiers and their families but it was also one of the best experiences that I have ever had. It turned out that they were on my flight to Phoenix but boarding another flight to their base. They got to board the flight before everyone (expect preboarders) and when they started boarding, everyone at the gate clapped for them. (it was kinda cool cause I was the last pre-boarder and they walked on right behind me so it felt like the were clapping for me too, I felt like a celebrity!!!) I sat behind 2 soldiers and heard them talking. They were Army National Guard being deployed to Iraq. They had been deployed before and never ended up leaving but this time it was a for sure thing, they would be heading out Wednesday for Iraq. I felt very honored to spend a few hours with so many brave men, willing to risk their lives for others. I am proud to live in a country where there are men and women willing to help other countries fight for the freedoms that we enjoy. I am grateful that there are others out there that do it so that my loved one don't have to....I'm just selfish that way. This was probably a once in a lifetime experience, hopefully Cayson will remember me telling him about the soldiers. I am hopeful that the families of the 40 men that I saw will see their loved ones soon. Not only do the soldiers in Iraq need our prayers, the families need our prayers as well.

on a side note.....I sat next to Tagg Romney (Mit Romney's son) on the airplane too! For all you Twilight lovers, he was reading Eclipse, good taste! He's very nice and we talked about his fathers campaign. What a cool flight!

Cayson and the buffalo

When we were in West Yellowstone we took Cayson to have his picture taken on a buffalo. He had a lot of fun and it was so funny to watch!

My latest reads

I read Harry Potter when it came out and loved it. There were a few things missing for me but I still really enjoyed the book. I can't wait for the movie, its going to be great! I also just read Eclipse. I feel like I waited so long for it and was so excited and it didn't meet my expectations. It was good, just a little harder to stay focused. My expectations for Breaking Dawn are now much higher, please do not disappoint! I don't think I will re-read this as many times as I have read Twilight and New Moon. So sad!

Swimming Lessons

Cayson did swimming lessons during the summer and on the last day he got to go down the big slide. He still can't swim without floaties but he puts his head under the water and floats on his back now. He loved it!

Dumb preschool teachers.....

We got Cayson enrolled in preschool with this lady from our stake that does preschool 2 days a week from her home. Some other mom's in my ward take their kids there and they love it so I thought that I would put Cayson in there too. Today we went there to meet her and get our class binder and ended up really disappointed by her attitude. I informed her that Cayson needs help getting his pants back on after going to the bathroom because for some reason he finds is necessary to strip! She said that she wouldn't help him put his clothes on because she can't leave the other kids. Okay, I can deal with that...I'll just teach him to leave his clothes on. Cayson sucks him thumb....he always has. Evidently this is a bad thing in her preschool because she pulled his hand out of his mouth and told him "we don't suck our thumb in preschool." I'm glad that Thad wasn't there, he would have ripped her throat out! Annoyed I still went along and thought that I would talk to her about it later. When I got home I told Thad about it and he said that Cayson couldn't go there if she expected him not to suck his thumb. I called the lady and asked if it was a rule or just a preference that kids not suck their thumbs in her preschool. Okay, not everyone can get mad with me! In her expert opinion...We shouldn't allow it because it isn't age appropriate, he wouldn't be accepted by other children his age, it isn't an acceptable form of comfort because he should learn to talk about how he is feeling....and in her 15 mins of watching Cayson, he lacks structure in his life "among other things" that she evaulated. She wouldn't be able to allow Cayson to suck him thumb while telling other children that they couldn't but none of that matters because he just isn't developmentally ready for preschool at this time. You can only imagine the anger that filled me at that moment and probably wouldn't want to be on the receiving end of that conversation. What the heck does "among other things" mean? I didn't realize that I had such a screwed up child, or that I have failed up to this point at teaching my child anything. So now we are on the lookout again at finding a new preschool, preferably one that doesn't have a closed-minded, nazi as the teacher!

What am I doing you may ask...? I took a class that was 6 months long and it was all about personal strength. I had really good timing when I took it because the last 3 months of it I was going through a divorce. Had I not taken this class or the classes previous to this one I may have never taken that step to change my life. My first 2 pictures are of me breaking my board with my hand, really cool feeling if you have never done it. The last pictures are of me walking over hot coals. We built up the fire first and then let it die down to just coals. I know it doesn't look like they are hot but don't let the color fool you, had it been night time those coals when have been blazing orange. Even after an hour of us walking across the coals they were still hot as we poured water over to cool it off. This was an amazing experience, something that I would like to do again!