Such a busy day **UPDATED**

I just wanted to let everyone know that Carly had surgery today to have the VP shunt placed. The surgery went really well and so far seems successful. The recovery so far has been a little rough but I'll update and add all the details when I am not so exhausted. I am reluctantly home for the night and will go back to be with my baby in the morning. If her recovery starts to improve she may be home tomorrow, although based on today I'm not sure if that will happen. I'm off to bed but I will add more later.


********************UPDATED********************

As promised, details of the surgery have finally come. The surgery went very well and as planned. I have posted a diagram (the one on the left) of the surgery and what the shunt looks like. Our Dr placed hers in the back of her head and the catheter goes into the left ventricle then drains into her peritoneum (the sac that is around all the belly organs). We saw her about 2 hours after the surgery. It was very sad, she was so pale and looked so helpless. For a while we couldn't touch her because the stimulation would cause her to become apnic. The apnea continued to be a problem all through the day and night and with feedings. The first 2 tries at feeding were pretty scary, blue is not a color I enjoy seeing on my daughters face. Alarms went off, Dr's and nurses came running in, they bagged her...very scary. I somehow left her for the night and came home to sleep. (not without help though...thank you pain pills)! When I went back the following morning she looked better and worse. Her color was better but her head was very deformed from the pressure being released. Her bones overlapped and the soft spot was very sunken in. I was told this was normal but for me it was not normal. I have however gotten slightly used to what she looks like. She was monitored all through the day and was finally released around 5pm. We have been doing very well since we have been home. The only differences from before is until she gets the stitches out of her head she can't lay on the incision or shunt. She can only lay on the sides of her head and has to be rotated or the bones in her head shift. She can't be held much because she has to stay as horizontal as possible so that the pressures start to normalize. We have to keep very clean as she is highly susceptable to infection for the first 3 weeks and up to 3 months after the surgery. I have a very brave and strong little girl. She is perfect and is doing so much better than anyone imagined. We are just taking it day by day for now!

I miss....

Being pregnant. Today I had my 2 week postpartum visit with the dr to check my recovery. While I was in the waiting room a pregnant lady and her husband walked out and without any warning I started to cry. I got control of myself and was taken back to the exam room and next door another lady was having a non-stress test done and I could hear the heartbeat of her baby. So I of course started to cry again. Am I a horrible parent because I miss being pregnant? I love my baby and I am so glad that she is here and I get to see her and hold her and hear her but I miss feeling her move inside my belly. The feeling of being sad about not being pregnant caught me by surprise and was something that I did not expect at all. Someone could have warned me...sheesh! Am I normal? Has anyone else ever felt this or am I just so over-tired that the thought of being pregnant is just so much easier than the thought of having a newborn?

On another note...tomorrow I have to take Carly to Phoenix Children's Hospital for a brain ultrasound and then to see the neurosurgeon. This will hopfully give us an idea of any improvements or regression with the swelling and give us an idea of when or if a shunt will be placed. Keep your fingers crossed for us!

Sunday night Carly had her first bath at home. This did not go well at all! I got her in her little tub and started to wash her body. Just as I was getting ready to take her out to wash her hair she pooped! For those that haven't experienced newborn poop...very messy! I got her out and wrapped her in her towel while I washed the tub out and poured new water in it. She then pee'd in her towel, followed by pooping again. I finally got her cleaned, out, dried off and in a diaper very quickly. This is by the way how most of our diaper changes go. I had no idea that girls could spray just like little boys do!

Finally, we saw the pediatrician on monday. She's doing great! When we came home last friday she weighed 5 lbs 1 oz and on monday she weighed 5 lbs 5 oz. Yea!!! We're getting bigger!